Obsession, You're My Obsession....

Hey All!

Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving weekend! I took some "me" time, got mani'd and pedi'd and the hair did, and got a few things done around the house for Christmas! Didn't do too bad on Turkey Day - managed to fry one up without burning down someone's house or having to roll someone around in the grass......

I really would like to be funny tonite (or today, depending on when you are reading this), and I had a couple of ideas on what I would write, but something happened just a few hours ago that has kind of shaken me up .

I put a question to Nona earlier this week about being obsessed with the whole weight loss thing. I admit, I dwell on this subject more than I should, almost to the point to where it takes over most of my conversations. Nona informed me that she rarely brings the subject up herself, and that she uses her blog to vent and rant about the struggle. Sooo...I'm gonna take her lead and do that tonite.

For the month of November, I have been in all or nothing mode. I think with the weigh in being right after the holiday and me not reaching some of the goals that I had set for myself had put me in a tailspin. All that I have been able to think about is those numbers on the scale, what I they say now and what I would like them to say by weigh in. I planned what I was going to eat until then, when my period came and how I was going to deal with the excess bloat and how I was going to handle Thanksgiving.

The week of the holiday, I was on a downward slide, so I figured if I upped my water, and ate only when I was hungry I could get a good jump in before the next Tuesday. My only big meal was lunch. On Thanksgiving, I would only have that one good meal. Plus walking every nite, no matter how cold.

Well, it worked. I would have my flavoured coffee w/cream and a few macadamia nuts, a good lunch or a nice meal around five (nothing big after 7p) drink my 64oz of water, then go and do my power walk. Last Monday I was at 222 - this morning I weighed in at 217. I haven't lost 5 lbs in a week since this whole thing started. And I admit, I felt great!! I finally had control over this thing.....

Control...remember this word, we will be coming back to it...

I took and extra vacation day to rest up from the weekend and get a few things done. I ran my mom to her doctor appointment, we did a little shopping and I started and completed a small painting project. I got ADHD, what can I say? Anyhoo, I looked up and realized that it was about 7:15 and I had not had any dinner or water. I had a small salad for lunch, and I was very hungry so I made some tuna salad and poured myself 20oz of water. By 7:45, I had eaten the salad and managed to drink all 64 oz of water. The water was no problem, it was the food that I was having trouble with. On Atkins, or any diet, you are advised to eat until satisfied, not stuffed. Because I was hungry, I was eating a bit more that I would have liked, but I noticed that I was trying to make do with two or three bites of food. I was equating the feeling of hunger and an empty stomach with the weight loss, when just the opposite is true. So I choked down a little more and finished off the rest of my allotted water.

Now, I usually go walking about an hour after my last meal. It was pretty late so I decided to do maybe a half hour on the stair stepper and call it good. That was before I got on the scale..

See, I am a scale junkie...I would say that I weigh myself 3-6 times a day. I use the scale to measure how much exercise, if any, that I would do that nite to either maintain my current weight or lose for the week. On a normal day of eating , if I weighed in before my walk, my weight would be up about 2 lbs.

When I weighed in tonite, the scale read 224 - seven pounds! I had a panic attack, my head literally swam. All that I could think about was how I blew it, how I shouldn't have eaten that damn tuna (never mind that a gallon of water probably weighs 5lbs) and how I am not going to make my goal for the weigh in tomorrow. Then I looked in the mirror and something happened that made me almost get sick.

I didn't like what I saw. You know how you look at circus mirrors and it's all distorted? That's how I looked. All that I could see was an old "before" image of me.

Well that did it - I bundled up and at 9:00 pm in 27 degree weather, I headed out for a four mile walk. Only, I didn't walk. I felt crazy, just really anxious and the walk didn't feel like it was doing any good. I still felt bloated, I felt bigger. So I started to run. Not jog, not fastwalk, but run - and run til I was out of breath. Then I would slow down, catch my breath and run some more. I probably was running two blocks and walking two blocks, something that I always wanted to be able to do at this point in my exercise training. And I tried to tell myself that I was finally getting to a new level, but I knew exactly what I was doing.

I was trying to control my body and get rid of this ugly feeling of failure that I had. A scale - an inanimate object - had me losing my mind. Look, I am far from being an anorexic, but I got a taste of what goes on and it scared me. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why it was so important to be at a certain weight or why I was being so competitive in the first place. Or why I was panicking.

So, I arrived home winded and confused, and immediately sat down and took a minute to count my blessings. My mom is in good health, my brothers are prosperous and have their right minds, I have great friends both here and in the blogosphere, I am gainfully employed and life overall is good and filled with God's blessings.

So why can't I get over the scale? I did weigh myself again - the running worked, down to 219. And I have told myself that I will be happy with whatever the scale says tomorrow - but I don't know if I believe that.....

Til next time.....

Oh! Shout out to Nona! Glad you are feeling better! And to Dia at Runchilde, congrats on your recent loss! You will be on that motorcycle in no time!

YOU CAN DO IT!!

Happy dance, y'all!

225.6!!!!!

Hello Lovely People!!

Gotta run to another hiking expedition, so this will be short....Weighed in Friday at 227.6 for a contest loss of 7.9 pounds for the month - yay!

Wanted to keep the momentum going, so I tried faster walking/slow jogging for a few blocks of my nightly walk.

Got on the scale this morning, and danced all thru the house!! 19.2 lbs. lost so far!!! Maybe I will make my goal after all!

Talk at ya later!!

OH! And a big welcome to Nona from England! Can't wait to hear from the other side of the pond!

Week two - I will survive!

Hi All!

Sorry about the gap between postings, been a busy week for Ms. Tracy. Here is my "before" pic of me at 244!

Well, second week has gone by. Didn't lose any pounds this week. :( But..... I have gone from a size 26 to a 22! I know this because when I weighed in Sunday morning and didn't see the loss on the scale, I immediately went to the "Archives". Now, ladies, everyone has an archive closet. This is the closet full of clothes that don't fit you anymore, but you don't get rid of them because:

A: You paid too much for them - "This suit cost $400.00! I'll be DAMNED if I get rid of this!"

- or -

B: You paid too little for them -"Get rid of the Anne Klein Plus dress that I got on the clearance rack for $3?!?! Oh hell naw....."

So....I spent a better part of the morning trying on clothes that I had long since forgotten about...and all of the 22's fit!! YAY! And you know what the best part is? Most of the stuff was the wide legged pants with wide waistband and the short cropped jackets! THE STUFF THAT IS IN STYLE FOR THIS FALL!! I'm set !!

.....Of course, I have to have some new shoes and a new look to go with all the clothes that I can get into now, so to soothe my battered ego over the scale (evil! evil scale!) I went out and bought me some eff-me black four inch pumps. And I colored my hair red, well copper. My mom says I look like a hooker, but I feel like a million.

(Speaking of my mother, who is as big of a stitch than I am, she capped on me the other day. Showed me an article on Krispi Kreme going into bankruptcy and said "See what happens when you go on a diet?" Ah hahaha Mom! You're so funny. Looking for your nursing home is going to be a riot!!)

I have been in this weight loss game long enough to know about the body changes, plateaus, muscle weight gain, bla bla. But I have to get at least 8 more pounds off by weigh in on the 21st to reach my goal. ITS CRUNCH TIME! I will admit, last week wasn't a great week for exercise for me....It rained a few nights and I could not do my 7 mile walk and I did skip a few lunchtime walks. Oh yeah and Friday I kinda went overboard on the smoked almonds and the low carb pizza....but that is behind me! Gotta MOOOVE ON!

So, today I joined the local weight training club. This has the basic weights and a couple of treadmills. I also invested in a mini stair stepper to keep at home. I call it my mini heart attack waiting to happen- this thing is so haarrd! I can barely do 10 minutes on it without collapsing in a pool of sweat - but I will persevere! I will admit, this is a lot harder than it used to be...I'm starting to believe all that crap about what happens to you after 40!

So while I am struggling with my goal for the month, I thought I would go into detail about the diet that my doctor and I have chosen. I am following the Atkins low carb diet for two reasons:

1. I am a type 2 diabetic with normal cholesterol and blood pressure- I can control my blood sugar with diet and exercise. Under my doctor's supervision, I have not taken my medicine since I started the diet and tracked my blood sugar levels daily. My blood sugar levels have been normal.

2. Cannot do the leaf and twig thing. Sorry, no butter, no meat, no Tracy. Yes, I have to give up my precious Mountain Dew (I was up to six a day) and Snickers bars (ditto) and my mocha carmel whipped cream infused extra tall coffee (I am crying right now) , but I can have fish, steak, chicken, pork and a great assortment of veggies and salads to go with them. I have even altered a chocolate soy milk to taste as good (well, not as good) as my coffee.

See, this is a life style change, not just a diet and I have chosen the change that I can live with. I want to expound on two things before I go on. You must, must, before starting any diet, see your doctor! Get a checkup, get some tests done, find out what is right for your body type. And ask questions - it's your body, it's your life! And please don't let not having insurance stop you from getting health care for yourself - surf the Internet, call around locally, there are places that charge by your income or not at all! In my time of need, I found a few!

The second thing is this: Get your pens and paper out- ALL DIETS WORK! Yep all of em! Low fat? Sure! Low Carb? Uh Huh! Veggies only? Go for it! Pick the one that you can live with, stick with it and moooove on!

So anyhoo, I chose Atkins because it makes me cut way down on sugars, starches and carbs while letting me enjoy - in moderation - protein rich foods. Contrary to popular belief, you do not just eat fatty meat all day, you have to eat your veggies , you have to eat dairy and salad greens to balance it all out.

But the main reason that I chose Atkins is the Scientific part.....by getting rid of the carbs, your body has to turn to its own fat stores for energy. So, when you move, breathe, exercise, you are burning fat! That is how I went down two sizes! There is also this test that you do with ketone strips to see if your body is in fat burning mode! You pee on the strips and if the strip is purple, you are burning fat for energy! These, plus the scale, have a down side for us obsessive, compulsives tho... more on that another time.

If you would like more info on the Atkin's diet - go get the book! Read it from cover to cover because there is alot more to this than what I have written here!

Well, tonite was the first night of my workouts with the weights and my muscles are rebelling, so till next time!

You can do it!! So can I! Just not right now.....

Oh wait! I almost forgot!! So far, my team has lost of total of 27 lbs! Go Team!

And I would like to give a shout out to Dia at Runchilde - her blog should be called RunLiftWeightsandSweatchilde, cuz sista is doin it all!! And managing to blog everyday! Girl ya making me look bad! Anyhoo, congrats on your weight loss too!

Til next time! YOU CAN ZZZZZZzzzzzz....

Shout Out to Evia and a New Blogger Joins Sweet Potato Pie

First I'd like to give a grand ol' Thank You to Evia over at BFInterracialmarriage.blogspot.com. First she linked to me from her site when I was just starting out and then she just recently gave me a shout out in one of her posts! Thanx! I know a lot of you found my blog from her blog so I am ever so grateful for her and all of your support!

Secondly I'd like to say YEAAAA! We have a new blogger who will be on board soon. I hope you all find her as fun and entertaining as I do. Below you'll find excerpts from the e-mail she sent me and you can see why I'm so excited about adding her to Sweet Potato Pie:

My name is Tracy Scott and I have just signed up for a weight loss contest with a team of 4 others - I am the captain!

I would like to keep a blog journal of my and my team members progress, along with daily thoughts, ups and downs of the weight loss game, pics, and of course lots of laffs!

The contest starts this Friday, I weigh in then. We are then weighed once a month until the contest ends on Jan 4th. Two teams will win - the team that loses the most weight and the team that loses the highest percentage of weight. The two teams will split a pot of so far almost $16,000.00 $8000.00 divided by 5equals a cool $1700.00 for me and my team members if we win at one of the categories! So, screw the health benefits, get thin for the cash!! ;)

I think that we have a great chance of winning, seeing as we are all big butts! I myself tip the scales at 245 and I am not the biggest one! Realistically, I could probably take off at the minimum 50 lbs, but I am really ready to do what it takes - in a healthy wayof course - the win this thing.. My team members are also gung ho, and we are planning outings, and pledge drives for charity (who can do the most push ups,dance a thons, and walk a thons) to help us take the extra pounds off..

So let's welcome Tracy. Her first post should be up this Sunday. Let's do all we can to cheer her on and support her in her weight loss efforts and of cours to WIN THAT CONTEST! LOL.

Today is a new day. So, what are you waiting for?