Me, Still Smokin'!

Hey All!

Been awhile between posts I know! I missed you too! Since I finally got some down time, lets play catchup! Get your jammies on and pour yourself some vino or some hot chocolate - here's the scoop!

Weight wise I have managed to gain quite a bit back...I weighed myself Friday morning to 234 - that is 10 pounds away from where I started, so it's back on track for me! I have gone back to my bible - the Atkins book - and am, yep, starting over again! So this weekend was supposed to be the last, last, really last, I mean it last hurrah! I was supposed to go over a girlfriends house and eat mac and cheese, then we were going to go out paaaaartying and I was going to have margarita's and coronas. Mr. Windstar and Aunt Flo (yes her again!) put a monkeywrench into those plans, but I guess it is just as well, I think that I have binged enough over the last two months. I really want to be sick of food and be over it, but alas he is a lover that I cannot shake! Especially if he comes in Chocolate! or Mexican! or Cheesecake! Damn, I'm getting hungry again.....

Life wise, things couldn't be better! Got me a new fella that is car - azy about Miss Tracy! The second date he called me his Queen and has been a complete sweetheart to me! He loves to cuddle and says that I could not be more perfect. So, to hell with the diet and.......oh no wait, still have my diabetes to contend with and all of those new clothes that I bought. And Valentines Day is coming up, not to mention my birthday and I wanted to be smaller by then. And he did mention something about a nightie that he bought me - Yep its back on! Right now , in its current state, lace is not coming anywhere near this ass! Tho a long sexy gown with a silk coverup might be nice....

See that is still my problem! Big or small (ok less big) I still think that I am the shizz! Is that overconfidence? or Delusion? and when and where is the breaking point? Maybe love has clouded my judgement lately, but I still have goals for myself that I have to reach, not to mention that there are folks in this weight loss journey with me that are looking to me for support.. what to do, what to do.....

Ah well, would love to hear from anyone that is going thru, or has gone thru the same thing! Lets hear from some sista's that are in the game, or have won the game!

Til next time! You Can Do It!

Weight, Dating and Self-confidence

When it comes to dating, weight always seems to be an issue, especially for us Black women who come a little heftier then most (even many of us who are considered "skinny"). So what is an overweight sister to do if she's looking for love?

Well, first I'd like to say that I've never had a problem attracting men. Even with the 30lb weight gain. I'm not saying that to brag, but just to give you a perspective of where I'm coming from as I write this, not as as insider but from someone on the outside looking in.

Of the women I know, particularly the ones who are very overweight or outright obese, there are two groups: The one's who have exciting and fulfilling dating lives and those who never have a date, let alone a man, and are often complaining about that fact.

To me these groups have two very distinct outlooks on their weight and how that fits in with their social lives:

Group A: Believes they are a catch regardless of their size. They may want to lose weight but they don't let it stop them from enjoying themselves or the men who may ask them out. They're fun and outgoing and don't spend a lot of time talking about their weight or their desire to lose weight. They have high self-confidence and it shows. They recognize that their weight and their self-esteem aren't inextricably tied. They like men and men like them. Some are just dating, some are in steady, happy, fulfilling relationships, others are happily married.

Group B: Is convinced that their weight is the reason they can't find or don't have a man. They just know that if they lose the weight Mr. Right will show up. They see their weight as a personal failure, a very public personal failure and they figure everyone else does too. You often hear them say things like, "my fat butt..." this or "No one wants my big behind.." that. For them their weight is directly tied to their sense of self worth and it shows. So often, they don't have a man, aren't dating and it really doesn't seem like men want them.

Here's the deal:

Your weight and your self-confidence are NOT inextricably tied.

Yes, it can be difficult to meet people if you are very overweight but lets be real here: In a country where roughly 65% of the adult population is classified as overweight or obese, if fat folk weren't meeting, dating and marrying then NO ONE would be meeting, dating and marrying!

The point of this post is to say: If you feel like your weight is hindering your love life then by all means LOSE THE WEIGHT!!!! But don't put your life on hold until you do. Get out there. Have fun. Meet people. Who knows, you may find Mr. Right when you're at your heaviest and if he loves you then I don't see any reason why he wouldn't love you when you're a size 6 (or whatever your ideal weight/size is).

Today is a new day. So, what are you waiting for?