Thick vs. Fat: A Black Man's Take

So here is one brother's take on Thick vs. Fat in the Black community. This one should spark some chatter. Discuss:

I remember in the late 1980’s when Black men first started using the word “thick” to define a woman with ample bottom and/or breasts. We knew what we were describing and it was more about T & A than the result of too many Twinkies, Ho-Hos, Moo-Moos and Cow-Cows.

We also knew that “healthy” was a term reserved for women with a little meat on their bones. They really were considered healthy because they ate regular meals (that they often cooked at home) and had beautiful bountiful bodies to show for it. They were proportionate and anything but obese.

But I remember that the term “thick” was co-opted in the 1990’s by overweight women who wanted to redefine America’s view of women (particularly the ones on the heavy side), and change the way overweight women viewed themselves.

Now, I’m all for people looking for ways to feel good about themselves, but if it is not based on reality and is actually inadvertently promoting and celebrating an unhealthy lifestyle, then it’s not a good thing.

Since the big girls dig brothers like me, some have been aggressive and when rebuffed (even though done politely), they often claim that I’m not a “real” Black man. After all, “real” Black men like big girls.

Right?

Not really.

“Real” Black men like a variety of women, because “real” Black men come in a variety themselves. Some of us do like the big girls, but some of us like the ladies who have little body fat, except where it counts.

Most of us probably know at least one or two Black men who like the big girls.

And, all across the nation, clubs specifically for big girls and the men who love them are popping up on the landscape.

So that means that being a big girl is a good thing.

Right?

Wrong.

Now, here’s where I get to use the phrase “never trust a big butt and a smile.”

While some big girls have co-opted the word “healthy” to denote a woman with largess, the redefinition of fat has gone too far.

It’s going too far to co-opt terms such as “healthy” to describe people who are, in reality, far from healthy.

Read the rest of the article. It's well worth it. Overall I think he does a good job of addressing the issue without coming off sounding condescending. And the whole "thick" phenomenon needs addressing. And I will get to that, but right now I'd like to here what folk have to say about what this Brother is addressing.

Left Without Saying Goodbye

He was my best friend, my rock, my reason for smiling everyday. From the time I turned sweet 16, always there…in just the right places. I delighted in the way he made me feel. There was a spring in my every step…I could practically dance the night away. It didn’t matter if I filled up on Waffle House bacon and eggs or five chicken soft tacos from Taco Bell at 3a.m. with my gal pals…he’d work it off (wink wink).

Throughout my twenties, I reveled in my ability to tame him. I admit my will to do the right thing was never very strong…but so what? I had him, he had my back even when I would royally mess up. The partying, drinking, sleeping till noon, or even rolling into work after 2 hours sleep, I could do it because of his strength. I never knew how much I relied on him………..until he left. He went out with me on the night before my 30th birthday, but when I fell asleep that night, I didn’t know that would be the last time I saw him.

No good-bye, no note, no warning whatsoever. He left. He left me for someone younger. Well, not just younger, I admit, probably someone more intuned with his needs, someone not as arrogant and self-absorbed as I. Basically, someone that gave a damn.

There are times I think I have finally accepted his leaving. I go shopping and I’m reminded all over again. Every pair of jeans, a cute form fitting dress…..the snugness is too much, suffocating…I usually leave in tears only to wallow in the shoe department of Macy’s. Is there any wonder why I own 100 pairs of fabulous strappy sandals, fly boots and every indigenous reptile skinned pumps?

Its been almost 10 years this July, and he’s not coming back. I realize this. I’ve moved on, attempted to regain some semblance of balance in his absence. But its not easy, each day is a journey. I walk and walk…some days I think I see him and begin to run…just trying in my desperation to maybe, somehow catch just a glimpse of him. I speed up thinking if I can just catch him and grab him and explain and apologize….but alas, its not him. He’s gone, not coming back

My sweetie, my love, my boo…………………

My DAMN METABOLISM LEFT ME AND HE DIDN’T EVEN SAY GOOD-BYE!!

Eat Like the Master.....

Mere seconds before all the lycra exploded......

Hi All!!

Had a faaabulous time Saturday nite! Details next post, I'm still recovering (what can I say, I'm old!)

I did want to add a quick thought for y'all tho....

Recently, my mother was told by her doctor that she could eat pork. Lean pork, mind you, but pork just the same. She was astounded! She thought that all pork was bad for you and that the pig was the cause of heart disease, high blood pressure, etc.

I, of course was elated, cuz me and little oinky have been best friends since grade school. But now that I am older and wiser (and fatter), I realize that you have to be smart about everything that goes into your mouth. So, ladies, and gents too (I know you are out there! Call me!) get your pencils and papers out! Here is your guide for pork, and just about any kind of meat or food:

EAT LIKE THE MASTER, NOT LIKE THE SLAVE


Ok, this part is for the Black Folks - everyone else talk amongst yourselves....

We have all heard the stories about Massa getting the good part of the hog, cow, etc and the slaves getting the leftovers. That's how we got chitin's, pig feet, ears, stomach, tongue, brain and all the other parts that should be thrown away. Yes, we were talented enuf to make all of that taste good, and we have even made some of this main stream, but at what cost? OUR LIVES!

These "parts" are all just fat and gristle, not meat. Instead of eating and "seasoning" with the leftovers, eat the lean cuts. Watch the bacon and ham or anything that is smoked(including turkey) for nitrates and salt. Folks, we're not slaves anymore, and while some of us are far from rich, there are affordable, leaner choices that can be made.

Trim the fat to 1/8" and grill or bake, and center cut chops are a lean choice. Tenderloin roasts are also and excellent choice. Same goes for beef, and chicken. Do you know I actually saw some chicken feet for sale? How much meat can be on those? And whose idea was it to market turkey tails?

If you are a carnivore, like me, make it a point, no a mission, to eat healthier, better quality foods. They will make a difference in how you look and eventually feel.

Oh yeah, get some salad and veggies in there too! ;)

Til next time, good night!

90 Minutes a Day Keeps the Fat Away

90 minutes.

That's the magic number to losing weight AND keeping it off.

Some years ago I was watching Dateline and they were following three people who had lost a significant amount of weight (30 pounds or more) and kept it off. What they had in common and what a medical study the show quoted showed: if you want to lose weight and keep it off, 90 minutes a day of working out is what it is going to take.

Period.

That's very different then the 30 minutes a day that was recommended for decades and more in line with the new government guidelines that say 30 - 45 minutes of aerobic activity at least 5 days a week PLUS an additional 30 to 60 minutes of additional physical activity a day (walking, taking stairs, housework, yard work, etc) for weight loss.

So how do you get 90 minutes of exercise a day into a busy work and home schedule?

Well ask yourself this: Do I watch 90 minutes worth of TV a day?

If the answer is yes - then you have 90 minutes to work out.

I recognize that it is not that simple but my point is that 90 minutes represents an hour long drama and a sitcom or three sitcoms or a Lifetime movie, so it is possible.

Practical Tips for Getting 90 Minutes Worth of Exercise a Day

1. Take the stairs. Stairs burn lots of calories. Instead of taking the elevator, hop on the stairs. Yes, even if you're on the sixth floor. The higher the better.

2. Park far away. You'll be amazed at how much walking you do when you don't park near the building you're trying to enter.

3. Take a page from Tracy's book and work out on your lunch hour (or half hour). A brisk walk or weight work out will contribute to the 90 minutes you need to make each day.

4. Get up early and walk, run or go to the gym. If you just don't have the time during the day to work out, get up early and make it happen. Yes I recognize that could mean 4 or 5 in the morning for some of you, but hey if you treat exercise like you do work then it shouldn't be a problem.

5. Go for a walk after dinner. It's simple yet effective.

Fat the Other Four Letter Word

As I write you will see that I regularly use the word Fat. I recognize that it is considered insensitive to some and downright cruel and totally inappropriate to others but I'm going to use it anyway and here's why:

1. It's not pleasant. We (Black women) have devised so many ways to describe our weight problem (big boned, full figured, thick) that it makes it sound like there is no problem at all. Sometimes you have to call something what it is if you really want to get to the meat of things.

2. When I was putting on weight my mother said:

"You're getting fat."

She didn't say,

"You're getting overweight."

She didn't say,

"You're getting thick."

She said,

"You're getting Fat"

Ouch.

That hurt. I didn't like it. And I decided to do something about it. So yes, I recognize it can be offensive. And no I am not completely insensitive to that fact. And yes I will be using the terms overweight and obese because they are clinical terms and there are times when they are appropriate. But sometimes you gotta call it what it is. As my mama likes to say,

"Sometimes you just need to call a spade a spade."