Introducing T-Time

Greetings,

Too often, when asked how they are doing, too many Black women say they are "surviving," or they are "making it." Well it is high time that we stop, "surviving" and "making it" and start thriving and living well. To that end T-Time seeks to inform and educate Black women on the many ways they can make their lives better, as well as entertain them a bit in the process.

T-Time is a web portal for black women that features the best the web has to offer on Sex, Dating and Relationships, Health, Fashion and Beauty, Business, and Entertainment, all from a Black woman's perspective.

Outside of featuring posts from my blogs Sweet Potato Pie and Brown Sugar, as well as creating original content for the T-Time Blog , I scour the web every day to find what other Black women are talking about regarding issues that affect Black women throughout the diaspora. From beauty tips to marketing advice, T-Time seeks to be the premiere place for useful, timely, information, tips and tricks that will improve the lives of everyday Black women.

I am excited about the possibilities that T-Time offers and I hope you are too.

Welcome,

T.S. Johnson
T-Time
The Black Woman's Guide to Living Well

Afrobella Celebrates "Beautiful Big Girls Working It Out"

Afrobella, one of my favorite blogs that hopefully you are reading as well, is celebrating the beauty of the full-figured form, particularly Toccara Jones. As you may remember, Toccara was a contestant on America's Next Top Model and is now featured in the first issue of Vogue Italy to showcase all black models.

She talks about inspirational it is to seeTocarra and other full-figured Bellas like Missy and Queen Latifah slimming down for their health as opposed to trying to fit society's ideal of what a woman should look like.

Watching women like Toccara become fitter while still maintaining their curves
is inspiring to a bella who is trying to improve her health and shed some weight
by way of diet and exercise. For me, looking at photoshopped images of Mariah, Janet, or insert-hypersexed-scantily-clad-pop star here has never worked as inspiration. Instead, I look to celebs who I can identify with, who I know must work consistently hard and sweat to achieve their goals. Read more...

Here here Bella!

Ironically, as I was losing weight I had a picture of Tocarra and Queen Latifah up as my "ideal." I never wanted to be thin and waifish. I embrace my curves and celebrate those that have them.

Kudos to those bellas working hard to regain their health and truly feel beautiful - whatever that may look like to them.


Vivrant Thang blogs about live, love and music over at Songs In The Key Of Life.

Big Butts = Good Health?

Well, all (big butt) black women should be jumping for joy on this one. According to a recent study butt fat is not only not a health risk but it good be good for you. Hell, if that's the case I should be the healthiest person on the planet. LOL From the BBC:

Body fat found under the skin - and particularly on the buttocks - may help reduce the risk of developing type 2 diabetes, research suggests.

The study contrasts this subcutaneous fat with visceral fat, which is wrapped around the organs, and raises the risk of ill health.

It is thought subcutaneous fat may produce hormones known as adipokines which boost the metabolism.

Thick vs. Fat: A Black Man's Take

So here is one brother's take on Thick vs. Fat in the Black community. This one should spark some chatter. Discuss:

I remember in the late 1980’s when Black men first started using the word “thick” to define a woman with ample bottom and/or breasts. We knew what we were describing and it was more about T & A than the result of too many Twinkies, Ho-Hos, Moo-Moos and Cow-Cows.

We also knew that “healthy” was a term reserved for women with a little meat on their bones. They really were considered healthy because they ate regular meals (that they often cooked at home) and had beautiful bountiful bodies to show for it. They were proportionate and anything but obese.

But I remember that the term “thick” was co-opted in the 1990’s by overweight women who wanted to redefine America’s view of women (particularly the ones on the heavy side), and change the way overweight women viewed themselves.

Now, I’m all for people looking for ways to feel good about themselves, but if it is not based on reality and is actually inadvertently promoting and celebrating an unhealthy lifestyle, then it’s not a good thing.

Since the big girls dig brothers like me, some have been aggressive and when rebuffed (even though done politely), they often claim that I’m not a “real” Black man. After all, “real” Black men like big girls.

Right?

Not really.

“Real” Black men like a variety of women, because “real” Black men come in a variety themselves. Some of us do like the big girls, but some of us like the ladies who have little body fat, except where it counts.

Most of us probably know at least one or two Black men who like the big girls.

And, all across the nation, clubs specifically for big girls and the men who love them are popping up on the landscape.

So that means that being a big girl is a good thing.

Right?

Wrong.

Now, here’s where I get to use the phrase “never trust a big butt and a smile.”

While some big girls have co-opted the word “healthy” to denote a woman with largess, the redefinition of fat has gone too far.

It’s going too far to co-opt terms such as “healthy” to describe people who are, in reality, far from healthy.

Read the rest of the article. It's well worth it. Overall I think he does a good job of addressing the issue without coming off sounding condescending. And the whole "thick" phenomenon needs addressing. And I will get to that, but right now I'd like to here what folk have to say about what this Brother is addressing.

Adore The Skin You Are In

You live, you die
And spend the years in between asking the question
Why you've been through what you been
You lose, you win
You even pay for other sins
But you must always adore the skin you are in

A couple of weekends ago, I went out to a sports bar with a girlfriend. We were dressed to the nines as we planned to head out to a club afterwards to meet up with some folks for a birthday celebration. I was wearing a sassy skirt and a sleeveless top that dipped dangerously in the middle. When I weighed over 300lbs you wouldn't dare catch me in anything sleeveless. Even though my weight was pretty evenly distributed over my 5'9 frame, my arms were extremely large. I was disgusted by them so naturally everyone else would be. For most of my teens years into my twenties, I kept them under wraps.

Now that I have lost the weight, my arms still remain fairly large. Although it's been a while since I stopped covering them up, whenever I see pictures of myself, my eye still goes to my arms and how they appear in comparison to the rest of my body. I often try to pose to hide them.

On this particular night as we were finishing up dinner, a photographer came around taking picture for the restaurant website. I hate being photographed because I don't consider myself especially photogenic. Probably stems from the days I was super morbidly obese and was reminded of how I looked to other people every time I looked at a photo of myself. As the photographer started to take the picture, I unconsciously pulled my jacket up over my arms. He gave me a disapproving look until I removed it.

Afterwards, he sat down next to me and told me how beautiful I was and how women out there were paying thousands of dollars to get what I had. "Love what you got. Don't be ashamed of it or cover it up." I didn't get the sense he was trying to get his mack on. He was just telling it as he saw it. His words definitely gave me plenty of food for thought.

When I decided to have the surgery, my main goals were to be healthy and to truly be comfortable in my own skin. I wanted to like what I saw when I walked past the mirror. So many women, whether they are a size 2 or a 22, are not happy with themselves. If you're not happy with yourself, how can anyone else be happy with you or around you. I don't want that. I want to truly embrace and adore the skin I am in.

Do you? If not, what are you doing about it?

Black Women's Magazines Giving Bad Diet Advice

Seems Essence, Ebony and Jet are doling out bad diet and fitness advice:

African-American women's magazines are more likely to encourage fad diets and reliance on faith to lose weight, while mainstream women's magazines focus more on evidence-based diet strategies, according to the study by UI researcher Shelly Campo, published in a recent issue of the journal Health Communication.

AA women's mags are more likely to suggest Faith as a weight loss strategy, which never is a suggestion in more mainstream mags:

Relying on God or faith was suggested by 1 in 10 weight-loss stories in the African-American magazines, but in almost no weight-loss stories in the mainstream magazines.

The study also says that Black magazines put too much blame on the individual and not enough focus on envrionmental and economic issue that make it difficult for Black women to lose and maintain their weight:

"Both genres are highly guilty of over-reliance on individual strategies," Campo said. "We blame individuals too much for circumstances that are not entirely within their control. We know people living in unsafe neighborhoods are much less likely to exercise. And fast food is cheap compared to fresh fruit and vegetables. To tell a poor person that they made a bad choice because they couldn't afford the salad fixings raises some ethical concerns."

Why is there such an unwillingness in the Black mags to discuss health issues? I haven't been a regular reader of Essence, Ebony or Jet in years but I distinctly remember plenty of articles on making more money, finding a man, God and any number of other issues but not too many on health and fitness and leading a healthy life. It feels like Black women's weight is the elephant in the room (no pun intended) for many Black women and out magazine's reflect this.

What do you think?

To read the rest of the article click on the link in the left sidebar under "Articles."

Left Without Saying Goodbye

He was my best friend, my rock, my reason for smiling everyday. From the time I turned sweet 16, always there…in just the right places. I delighted in the way he made me feel. There was a spring in my every step…I could practically dance the night away. It didn’t matter if I filled up on Waffle House bacon and eggs or five chicken soft tacos from Taco Bell at 3a.m. with my gal pals…he’d work it off (wink wink).

Throughout my twenties, I reveled in my ability to tame him. I admit my will to do the right thing was never very strong…but so what? I had him, he had my back even when I would royally mess up. The partying, drinking, sleeping till noon, or even rolling into work after 2 hours sleep, I could do it because of his strength. I never knew how much I relied on him………..until he left. He went out with me on the night before my 30th birthday, but when I fell asleep that night, I didn’t know that would be the last time I saw him.

No good-bye, no note, no warning whatsoever. He left. He left me for someone younger. Well, not just younger, I admit, probably someone more intuned with his needs, someone not as arrogant and self-absorbed as I. Basically, someone that gave a damn.

There are times I think I have finally accepted his leaving. I go shopping and I’m reminded all over again. Every pair of jeans, a cute form fitting dress…..the snugness is too much, suffocating…I usually leave in tears only to wallow in the shoe department of Macy’s. Is there any wonder why I own 100 pairs of fabulous strappy sandals, fly boots and every indigenous reptile skinned pumps?

Its been almost 10 years this July, and he’s not coming back. I realize this. I’ve moved on, attempted to regain some semblance of balance in his absence. But its not easy, each day is a journey. I walk and walk…some days I think I see him and begin to run…just trying in my desperation to maybe, somehow catch just a glimpse of him. I speed up thinking if I can just catch him and grab him and explain and apologize….but alas, its not him. He’s gone, not coming back

My sweetie, my love, my boo…………………

My DAMN METABOLISM LEFT ME AND HE DIDN’T EVEN SAY GOOD-BYE!!

Barriers to Weight Loss: What Black Women Can Learn From White Women

Since this is a topic that I was recently talking to a friend about and one that Tracy mentioned would be a future blog topic I decided I'd add my two cents to the topic:

I was in the gym last week and a friend of mine who is a personal trainer (and a stripper but that's another story) said in his experience white women are more inclined to address a weight problem before it becomes a real problem. His exact words were:

A white woman will but on 5 pounds freak out, go to the gym and mess around and lose 10lbs. Black women will put on 5, 10, 30, 40 pounds and then say 'Girl I need to do something about this.'

So lesson number 1 is: When you see that your weight is a problem, deal with it EARLY don't wait until you've gone from a size 8 to a size 14 before you address the issues at hand. Being Proactive is much better (and easier) then being Reactive.

Lesson number 2 comes from a 2003 study that was published in the journal 'Ethnicity and Disease.' It states that:

A recent study has revealed that overweight or obese white women are more inclined to ask for dieting help than their African-American counterparts.

This is an important point to take note of. The article about the study further notes that:

"We found that African-American women did not differ from Caucasians in terms of concerns about body shape and weight. But white women were more likely to be influenced by those concerns to seek help,” said lead author Dr. Rachel Annunziato, Assistant Professor in the Department of Psychiatry at the Mount Sinai School of Medicine.

So what we learn is that for whatever reason Black women aren't motivated by body image in the same way their white counterparts are and this lack of motivation (even though the concern is there) prevents Black women from seeking help regarding their weight.

The articles offers some suggestions why this may be the case from cultural factors to women being the primary caregivers of everyone but themselves.

My personal trainer friend also noted that for whatever reason White women are more inclined to invest in their health in a way that Black women do not. He elaborated that black women will invest in things to make them look nice (clothes, hair, nails, etc.) but won't invest in the things that will make them healthy.

Now I'm not saying my personal trainer friend's word is the end all be all on the topic but much of what he says is backed up by other sources such as the article 'Black Women Confuse Beauty With Health' which touches on the issue of black women striving to look good instead of being healthy.

So Lesson 3 is: Health and Beauty are not synonymous and Black women need to learn and understand the difference if they want to be successful in having a fit and healthy lifestyle.

Just some things to think about this post 3-day weekend morning.

Today is a new Day. What are you waiting for?