Thursday, November 8, 2007

Speaking of Compulsive Eating....

Hey All!

It's been like a rollercoaster these past few days! Yes, I fell off of the wagon, but I am back on and holding on to the reigns!

"Oh goodness, Tracy, how ever did that happen?" I can truthfully say that it was not my fault....It was my Uncle's fault....He died. The wake was last Friday and the funeral was on Saturday. All weekend long I was up to my ass in fried chicken, sweet potato pie (I ate a whole one by myself), greens, dressssinng, and every kind of cake you can imagine.

Ladies, it was not pretty. Now I know how drug addicts feel when they relapse - I totally lost control. And I kept telling myself "Okay, just have one more piece of this pie, then stop. You can cheat a little, it won't hurt". Next thing you know, Sunday morning I'm at the all you can eat breakfast buffet with two plates full of french toast sticks and a bowl of maple syrup. The maple syrup was my beverage...

What stopped me dead in my tracks was two things - I started to feel dizzy and lightheaded from all of the sugar and carbs that I was eating, and I totally forgot about a certain purple sequined dress that I had to squeeze in THAT NEXT SATURDAY!!

Soooo, I put that weekend behind me, and started fresh last Monday - four pounds heavier!! have managed to shed two of those pounds so far, and my goal before the next weigh in is 10 lbs. I want to be in the 2-teens by the end of the month. I can do it....but for right now, I gotta get in that dress!

It's a cute little number...I was going to post pics this time, but the dress wasn't fitting as smoothly as I would have liked. But no problem!! I came up with a solution tonite as I was retrying the dress on.

Now, ladies, Moi is a firm believer in foundations - ya know, girdles! Put one on, drop a size and smooth out the love handles, plus they help your posture. You won't be able to exhale, and you are probably crushing some major organs, but who really needs a liver and a pancreas anyway? You are looking good, that's all that matters!

The dress is a little snug around my problem area - the middle! I swear, I look like an apple on two sticks. I am doing 50 crunches a night and it is helping some, but I gotta look good by Saturday, so I needed a quick fix. Now, the girdles that I have are pretty much for support, so if you have a belly and no waist line, they kind of meld into one round like shape. For this dress, I needed some hips and a waistline, so I went to the tried and true method for fakin' the funk.....

That's right, I reached for the Saran Wrap! Laff if you want to, that stuff is better than Spanx! And cheaper too! Five or six go rounds around my middle and WALA! - instant waistline! And as an added bonus, once you are wrapped like a mummy, you don't want to eat as much because you are scared of the whole thing rolling into a big tourniquet and cutting you in half!

HAHAHA! Don't ya love being a girl? I'm not even going to mention the purple suede matching shoes that deform my feet as I walk! By Sunday morning, I'm going to have hoofs (hooves?) but Saturday nite, I'm gonna look great!

Well, I think the lesson we all can learn from this is :

a. When you are dieting, try not to have relatives die. If they can't help it, don't go to any funerals til after you have reached your goal.

b. When you fall, get right back up, forgive yourself, and carry on. No one is perfect, and the road to success is paved with little slip ups.

c. French Toast sticks RULE!!

d. Saran Wrap is a girl's best friend.

Til next time, keep up the good fight ladies! YOU CAN DO IT!

5 comments:

IdentityQuest said...

This was funny as hell! I love it. Thanks for the motivation.

Nona said...

LMAO!!!! You are a riot!!! Saran Wrap? LMAO!!!

I think the hardest lesson I have had to learn on my journey is not to use a slip as an excuse to stay down and wallow.

Thanks for a great post!!!

I'm sure you'll look stunning on Saturday and have a great time even if you can't breath. ;P

Tracy said...

Thank you guys!

Lose a battle, but win the war I always say!

The dress is purple, so at least my face and the dress will match!

Keep up the struggle girls!

;)

JJ said...

LOL. You're silly Tracy:

The dress is purple, so at least my face and the dress will match!

Hey a while back I knocked off two Sara Lee Cheesecakes in a wek. One of which I ate in a day...in one siting.

So I feel your pain. As the a song that came out awhile back said, "Just dust your shoulders off."

Tracy said...

Two cheesecakes in a week?

JJ, gurl, you a lightweight!!

When I went on this diet, Sara Lee's stock fell!

UPDATE!!

I found a waist cincher at WalMart!! I have lost enuf weight to actually get into one! It works better than the saran wrap, so I will be sporting that one! Its like a mini corset and it makes the curves pop!

Aaaaand....I can breathe...filet mignon with blue cheese, come to mama!!