Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Week One - And A Weigh We Go!

Hi All!

Well, this is the first week of the big pay off - I mean diet and exercise plan! So far, things have gone good.

...Except for Aunt Flo visiting and putting a monkey wrench in the whole damn thing! Just what I need right now...cramps and bloating to go along with the hunger pains and caffeine withdrawal!

But ya know, I'm making it! Monday was an absolute gag!! I decided that I was going to workout in some shape or form on my lunch hour. I figured that I could walk or exercise for a half hour and eat the for the other. For me, the plan was a bit of a stretch, considering a usual lunch for me consisted of:

1. Getting with my girlfriends at lunch, going to our favorite greasy spoon and ordering the special. The special was one of those three course meals consisting of cheesy, fatty soup, some greasy meat( always deep fried in batter) and something that once was probably some healthy vegetables drowned in cheese and/or butter. MMM MMM. The only workout we got was with our mouths from eating and gossiping. When we got back to work, I would take the elevator - TO GO UP ONE FLOOR! My second favorite lunch time pastime was

2. Napping! Yep, I would take the van, drive over to the local park (after getting a Burger meal somewhere), eat my lunch, then let back the seat and go into dream land! When it was cold out, I would put a comforter and a pillow in the back seat! I know God loves me, cuz no one has tried to murder me yet!

So anyhoo, I decide that Monday is the first day of the rest of my life bla bla cash bla bla.... and I set out to my destiny....

First, I decided that I would start packing my own low carb lunches and save some bucks. I would also need some snacks, and diet drink and my low carb chocolate shake to help stave off any hunger pains I might have at work. OK got that if I am going to go walking, I have to have a change of clothes, my tennies, socks, a towel to freshen up with, oh - let me take some fresh underwear in case I really get down with the sweatin', 'course got to have the bra to match, any and everything that kills odor on the body, and last but not least, all my hair products and three curling irons so I can redo my hair!

There!! That was easy!! Girls, I walked out of my house with FOUR bags, packed to the hilt, two grocery bags with food and my purse!! And I still forgot stuff!

But I didn't get frustrated and give up - I trudged on...I figured that I was getting a good workout by carrying all of this stuff. Hey a calorie burned is a calorie burned!

So lunchtime arrives, and I go run to the restroom to change, grab my lunch and head over to the park. Now, I don't know where you all are, but around here, we are going thru a semi-heat wave....Either that or semi flash flooding...(what's next on God's Wrath's list? Locusts? y'all better get right!)

It was a little warm - but yours truly walked around the perimeter (read: the places where someone can see me getting attacked) of the park. Twice. I think that it was about 2 miles total. It could have been a nice pleasant walk, except for the fifty thousand chiggers that bit me! I think one got a taste and went back and told the rest "Hey guys, soul food today! Ooooooh, fat, salt and sugar all in one!" But, again, I persevered.....I like that word, am I spelling it right?

I eat my lunch in my air conditioned van, get back to work, freshen up, change clothes.......AND CONTINUE TO SWEAT FOR THE NEXT HOUR! I didn't know what the hell was going on, sweat was dripping from my hair, down my neck. I had to keep toweling off, people probably thought I was in the first stages of cardiac arrest. I was more worried about how my hair and makeup looked. See, I am the first person you see when you walk into our office, and since every man that walks in could be a potential millionaire husband, I got to look good!!! The waterworks finally stopped, so I did a quick touchup with the makeup, moussed the living hell out of my do and persevered!! (love that word!!)

I have to say, after all the chigger welts went down, I did feel a bit better that afternoon...I had a little more energy and I could focus better - no afternoon slump.

Today, I took some of my co workers to help stave off the muggers - I mean to share my newfound love for walking in the heat. People, that is the way to go! We spent so much time laffing that the walk was over in no time..I plan on going at least 3 times a week! I CAN DO IT!! the exercise part down and the diet is going sooo well. As I stated before, and will explain in more detail in another chapter, I have chosen to do the Atkins diet. Being a diabetic, this diet was the best for me cuz it cuts out everything I LOVE....I mean everything that is bad for me (sugar, excessive carbs, caffeine) and replaces it with low carb goodies that I can live with. So , instead of my usual breakfast of a Mountain Dew and a Snickers, I have eggs and bacon, cheese, butter and low carb juice mix. Snacks consist of Pork Rinds (yes pork rinds!) cream cheese dip, and veggies, and dinner is usually fish or steak and a big salad !

So far ladies, I have lost (drum roll please!!) Two Pounds!! Yay! I hardly recognize myself, I'm getting so thin.....well ok , I am less fat ;). But celebrate the small things in life, and soon you will get a big check!

OK Q&A time!! Someone on the comments of my first post asked me what was the difference between being Thick and being Fat. Ladies, get your pens and paper out....

(Note: This is a phrase that I will be using alot these next few months. What this really means is for you to shade over the phase with your mouse, right click, choose 'copy', and paste to a word document. If any of this is new or confusing to you, I would like to say WELCOME TO 2007 - TECHNOLOGY GOOD!!)

Anyhoo, back to the question. Let's get all Jesse Jackson with the answer shall we? Here we go:

Remember : Thick is a state of mind
Fat is what's on your behind!

Thank you! I have copyrighted that, so if I start seeing t-shirts, I'm coming after you!

Well, time for me to do my crunches - the pork rinds that is - and head off to bed! Thanks for the love and support and you will always have mine! YOU CAN DO IT!


p.s. I can hear all of you already - how you eatin all that and trying to lose weight? The secret will be revealed next time!!


Madrid said...

"There!! That was easy!! Girls, I walked out of my house with FOUR bags, packed to the hilt, two grocery bags with food and my purse!! And I still forgot stuff!"

Hahaha - I totally feel you on this.

That was me all last week going to work with fifty million bags b/w the food/clothes. I need a mini suitcase to take to work to accommodate this healthy lifestyle!!